Things said by or about Howard Quartz
]] Howard Quartz: "Remember, general... I buy all my robots cheap... so it doesn't '''matter' whether they ‘live’ or ‘die’." General Denver: "Smart thinking! Who gives a darn about talking lumps of metal... er—don't take that personally, Quartz!" ''Starlord'' #2. ---- Howard Quartz: "Wha-aat? Ro-Jaws and Hammerstein are saving a school bus full of little brats... INSTEAD of the AMERICAN SENATOR...? Eh? The senator's gone mad and jumped out of the top floor of his mansion, singing 'Swanee River' and wearing only the U.S. flag! GOOD GRIEF!" ''Starlord'' #4. ---- Ro-Jaws: "Not like you to be on the scene so quickly, boss — usually takes a wad of green stuff before you move in!" Howard Quartz: "Shut up, Ro-Jaws!" ''Starlord'' #5. ---- Howard Quartz: "Clear off, Ro-Jaws. I'm busy. I didn't get where I am today wasting time having words with robots." ''Starlord'' #10. ---- Howard Quartz: "I've never heard anything so ridiculous as robots killing humans!" ''Starlord'' #11. ---- Howard Quartz: "You must sometimes do evil in order to do good, you see?" 2000 AD prog 1912. ---- Howard Quartz: "What happened in Grosvenor Square happened in the cleanest possible way with minimum collateral damage." Bill Savage: "Fifteen people beaten to death by Hammersteins? Thirty seriously injured?" Howard Quartz: "You know, Bill, there is so much anti-American sentiment and conspiracy theorising in your country right now. If it wasn't the Hammersteins and the drones, they'd be angry at the United States for something else." 2000 AD prog 1917. ---- Dick Quartz: "The boffins are working on a robot suit for you. Chrome with retro styling, lots of phones." 2000 AD prog 1922. ---- Dick Quartz: "No offence, Howard, but your design makes you look like... well, there's no other way to put this... a fat, evil bastard." Howard Quartz: "I know. It's good, isn't it?" 2000 AD prog 1923. ---- Miss Marilyn: "All these families killed in the disaster. It's so awful..." Howard Quartz: "Curious. I'm not feeling anything. That's annoying. How do I have feelings, Miss? What can I do to produce emotions like you?" ''2000 AD'' prog 1963. ---- Mek-Quake: "Mr Quartz is the kindest, most generous, most peaceful, most wonderful boss a robot could ever have. He really cares about humanity. Like Mek-Quake." ''2000 AD'' prog 1966. ---- Howard Quartz: "I understand socialising at Greasy Gracies is part of the robots' bid for civil rights. They sit around and recharge themselves in a pathetic attempt to mimic humans." Sir James Grey: "Rather like yourself, eh, Howard?" ''2000 AD'' prog 1967. ---- Howard Quartz: "This dance is a little different, Sir James. It's the cakewalk. A kind of robot protest. I've seen my Ro-Busters prancing about in this manner. I thought they were malfunctioning at first. In fact, they were pretending to be me! They based it on the way black slaves used to dance, imitating 'white folk'. The owners were unaware their slaves were secretly mocking them." ''2000 AD'' prog 1968. ---- Howard Quartz: "All right, I get it. Okay. How much?" Sir James Grey: "The trouble with you, Howard, is that even when you were human, you had no breeding. I simply can't be bought." ''2000 AD'' prog 1970. ---- Miss Marilyn: "They're organising a solar system boycott of Quartz products." Howard Quartz: "Ha! I own everything, so let them try. They'll find there's not much to eat, drink, drive, watch or heal that isn't owned by Howard Quartz!" ''2000 AD'' prog 1971. ---- Hammerstein: "It's called ‘Martian Brutal’: no art. No beauty. No soul. Humans really are turning into machines. No wonder Howard Quartz was attracted to Mars." ''2000 AD'' prog 1972. ---- First nuisance caller: "Thank you for calling Toy Collector Addicts Helpline, you sad bastard. All our advisers are busy, but don't hang up. Your call is important to us." Second nuisance caller: "Have you been injured in an accident that wasn't your fault within the last three years? Then you may be entitled to one hundred per cent compensation." Third nuisance caller: "Are you experiencing problems with erectile dysfunction? Talk to one of our medical team in complete confidence." 2000 AD 40th Anniversary Special. ---- Bill Savage: "No one in their right mind would trust Howard Quartz." 2000 AD prog 2061. ---- Howard Quartz: "The Quartz family own nearly every central bank in the world. We have financed both sides of every war since Napoleon." 2000 AD prog 2065. Category:Quotes